“So how did the family weekend go?” Amber asked as soon as I picked up the telephone.
“HOW DID IT GO? MY FUCKIN' HUSBAND INVITED HIS LITTLE SLUTBAG GIRLFRIEND TO CALIFORNIA – THAT'S HOW IT WAS!! HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE FUCKIN' NERVE TO PUT HER UP IN ANOTHER FUCKIN' HOTEL!! AND HER...SHE HAS THE BALLS TO COME OVER AND TOUCH MY FUCKIN' CHILDREN!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE THOUGHT HE COULD GET AWAY WITH IT – LIKE I WOULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT?!? THEN...THEN HE TELLS ME THAT IT WASN'T SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS ~~ HELLO JERKFACE – YOU JUST THREW AWAY YOUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE!!!!”

Amber was silent on the other line.
“I can't believe that I ever loved him.”
“Rhon – he wasn't like this when you fell in love with him,” Amber said trying to calm me down.
“I know he wasn't. I just...I just can't figure out what made him change. Was it me?” I broke down into tears.
“Rhon – it's not you. It definitely isn't you.”
“When are you coming home?”
“Not for a couple of hours, why?”
“I'll be okay. I just need to vent for a bit...don't worry about it. We'll talk later,” I said trying more to convince myself than Amber that I would be all right.
“Okay honey – I'll be home in a little bit. And I'll bring ice cream.”
I hung up the phone with Amber and looked around my house. Every where I turned I saw something that reminded me of Howie. I grabbed the kids, put them in the car and just drove.

“Why am I here?” I asked myself. “He's not even home.”
I began to pull out of the driveway when Nick pulled in behind me. He got out of his truck and walked over to the car.
“Well this is a nice surprise,” he said leaning into the car and waiving to the kids. “How did the trip go?”
I banged my head on the steering wheel.
“That good huh?” he laughed.
I looked up at him. “It's over,” I said.
“You and Howie? I thought you guys went away to fix things.”
“That's what I thought too but...they can't be fixed. We definitely ended it this weekend,” I turned away from Nick trying not to cry.
“Why don't you guys come in for awhile...we could...talk.”
Nick helped me get the kids out of the car and we went into his house. We put Nikki and Jacob on the floor and let them play. I called Amber and let her know that I was at Nick's with the kids.
Nick and I sat on the couch and I told him the story of what happened on our “family vacation.”
“I just...I can't believe how stupid I was for letting this happen,” I said.
“I know exactly what you're thinking,” Nick mumbled.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Because...because...I caught Missy with JC. That's one of the reasons we split up.”
“What?! You didn't tell me that.”
“Not exactly something that you want to go around sharing with people,” Nick laughed. “Like you're going to tell people why you and Howie split up?”
“...well...okay no. But...how did it happen?”
Nick began his story.
“Missy and I were having problems for awhile. I guess I just kept thinking that things would get better. I kept trying to make everything all right, you know. Give her everything...but I realized that no matter how much I gave, she just kept taking and I wasn't getting anything in return. It was always about her and what she wanted. You know?” “Funny – I thought after having a kid she would grow out of that,” I mumbled.
“And every time I was having a bad day or turned to her when I needed someone, she would go 'oh it's okay' and then change the subject to something about her. I got to the point of where I didn't bother telling her anything anymore because it was like she wasn't even listening to me. It was almost as if I was around just to give her attention...and it was never enough...but I suddenly realized that I needed it too. I needed someone to ask me how my day was and if I'm having a bad day to just listen to me bitch for awhile, you know? And half the time it was like I was her trophy or something. We would go out somewhere and she would show me off to her 'friends' and then go off with them, like okay here is my boyfriend, now he can go away. “

“How long was it going on?” I asked knowing that Nick needed to get this off of his chest.
“Things were good for the first...six months or so. Pretty sad for me to stick around for so long after that huh?” “No – it's hard to let go of someone that you care about.”
“Well that was the beginning I guess. Then one day I came home and asked what did you do today? She went on to tell me in great detail about this day that her and Patrick had...well I come to find out later that she ran into JC at the mall and then went to lunch. I would have been okay with running into someone and going out to lunch – but no, she makes up this huge story and lies to me. And I knew that it was a story and I think that she knew that I knew, but she just kept on going and making more shit up. But apparently the truth was that JC said that he missed Patrick and would like to see him every once and awhile...which turned into every weekend...which turned into every couple of days...and then I guess every day. I was out on the boat with my dad and Aaron one day and came home early to find JC and Missy...on my couch...together.”

“Ouch...that must have hurt. What did you do?” I asked not believing that my old friend could do something like that to Nick.
Nick laughed, “Umm...I punched him and threw the both of them out of the house. I told her she could come back for her shit later and that I didn't want to speak to her again. They stood at the front door banging on it for a few minutes.”
“Did you let her back in?”
“No... but I did toss them out their clothes...” Nick laughed. “They left and she came back the next day, but I already had all of her shit packed up and in the driveway.”
“Oh my god,” I laughed just picturing the scene. “And I thought I reacted badly!!”
“Yeah but I didn't do it in front of a bunch of people,” Nick shot back.
“What can I say...I finally had it. I snapped and so what if there was a bunch of people around...I just regret the fact that the kids were there. Hopefully, when they get older they won't remember it.”
“I'm sure that they won't remember it...but Howie will, that's for sure!”
“I hope that he does – and I hope that his little girlfriend remembers it too!!” I said with an angry tone in my voice.
“Do you know who she was?” Nick asked.
“Her name was Sarah...”
“Sarah?” Nick said cutting me off.
“Did you know about her?” I asked hoping that he didn't.
“Well...,” he said, “Howie knew a girl about five years ago named Sarah. I guess they dated off and on ... but I haven't heard anything about her in a long time. I'm sure it's not the same person.”
“She was about 5'10”, long blond hair with a tan as fake as her boobs!!”
“Oh...that does sound like her,” Nick muttered. “Did she seem really airheaded too?”
“Yep that was her. Howie kept saying that they were just friends and it wasn't suppose to turn out like this.”
Nick pulled me into his arms. “One day Howie will realize what he lost...and he'll hate himself for it.”
“Yeah – the 'Rhonda and Howie' kind of love right?” I closed my eyes and put my head on Nick's chest to rest. It had been a long day. As I dozed off to sleep I heard Nick whisper, “He lost so much more of that.”