Shattered Dreams - Broken Promises

Chapter 38

Amber's View

I didn't know where I was going, all I know was that I wanted to go so far that I couldn't see the look on her face. I got in the car and started it. I wiped my eyes and turned on the radio.

Lately I've been running into our old friends,
And somewhere in the small talk,
Someone always asks where you've been.
So I tell them what you told me,
And they can't believe we're through.
They ask me what I'm doin' now
And in case you're wondering too.

The words of the song echoed in my head. I laid my head onto the steering wheel and cried harder than I've ever cried before.

I breathe in and breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
Till you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
But until then
I'll breathe in and breathe out

The car door opened and I saw AJ climb in through my tears. He didn't say a word and we both sat in silence and listened as the song played on.

I've got every reason to find someone new
Cause you swore up and down to me
I've seen the last of you.
But the way that you loved me
Left me hopin and holdin on.
So until this world stops turning round
And my heart believes you're gone.

I'll breathe in and breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
Till you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
But until then
I'll breathe in and breathe out

AJ reached over and took my hand in his.

We were meant to be, girl, there's no doubt.
If it takes the rest of my life
For you to figure it out.

I'll breathe in and breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
Till you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
But until then
I'll breathe in
And breathe out

“I don't want to lose you,” AJ whispered as the song ended. “I can't lose you.”
“I don't want us to become like Howie and Rhonda,” I said leaning over and crying against his shoulder. “I don't think I could ever take that. I love you too much.”
“I love you too,” he said kissing me softly. It had been so long since I'd felt him kiss me and I had missed it.
I looked up into his eyes and saw that he meant it. “The kiss…,” I started. “The kiss…it didn't mean anything…all I could think about during it was you. I was just trying to hurt you back for all the hurt you caused me. I think we moved too fast with everything, the kids, the wedding…everything.”
“I know. I don't know why I did it…somehow talking about the past made me remember how it all used to be.”
I pulled away. “I'm sorry if I'm not as good as your past.”
“No! That's not it. You're so much better than my past ever was…I don't know how to explain.”
“Try,” I said.
“I guess I was scared. Scared of responsibility, scared of losing my son, scared of not being the person you needed me to be. I didn't know how to handle it all so I guess I ran. Trust me the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you.”
“Well you did. You hurt me more than you could imagine.”
“I know and for that I can never make it up to you, but I want to try.”
“I want to make this work but you have to promise me something,” I said. “Anything.”
“Promise me we'll never let it go this far again. Promise that we never turn to others before we turn to each other.”
“I promise.” AJ reached over and brushed a left over tear off my cheek and kissed me again. I melted into his arms never wanting to leave them again.

Rhonda's view

Kevin pulled Howie, Nick and I upstairs and away from the kids. “This is ridiculous. You guys have been separated for awhile now – don't be assholes to each other in front of the kids. They don't need to see that.”
“But she's with Nick!” Howie shouted.
“So what?” Kevin yelled back. “You're with Sarah and she's with Nick. I think it's about time that you guys finalize things and move on with your lives. People just keep getting hurt.”
“Yeah!!” Nick chimed in pointing at Howie.
“And you Nick,” Kevin said giving him a slight shove. “Can't even wait for the ink to be dry? Hell, they haven't even signed anything yet!”
“But...we haven't done anything yet!” Nick tried to argue but Kevin stopped him.
“That still doesn't make it right. Howie's your friend, your brother, and you should back off a bit and let them finish things. Besides, I'm not letting this band split up because of this shit. We're family and you guys are going to have to figure out how to get along or else you will have to answer to me!” Kevin stormed out of the room leaving me, Howie and Nick alone.

“Kevin is right,” I said.
“I know,” Howie said. “We have to figure out how to get along. We all have too much on the line here, between the kids and our careers. We have to figure out something.”
“Do you want me to leave you guys alone?” Nick asked.
I looked at Howie who turned to Nick, “No – you're a part of this now. You should probably stay.”

Chapter 39
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