I watched as the nurse came in and injected something into my IV needle. I could feel the cold liquid run into my veins. My head swam as I lay listening to the doctor explaining what was happening. I knew I needed to hear what he was saying but I just couldn't focus on anything but the first statements that had come out of his mouth…I was far into labor. I focused my attention more trying hard to understand what they were telling me.

"We're afraid that it's really too early for your baby to be born especially because you seem to be a little underweight for as far along as you are. We are going to give you a drug called vicodin that will hopefully stop your contractions. If it works we're going to require you to be on full bed rest until the baby is born."

'If it works…' that sentence kept replaying itself over and over in my head. "And if it doesn't?" I asked scared to know the answer.
"If it doesn't," the doctor said earnestly "then we will try to at least hold off delivery for as long as we can and hope for the best."
AJ's tightened his grip on my hand. "What do you mean hope for the best?"
"Survival rate chances are pretty high for a baby in your term, but there are always great risks in preemies. We can't tell right now if all the vital organs will be fully formed or what complications my arise later if he were to be born premature…so we will hope for the best that this drug does stop the contractions. The medicine should kick in soon and I'll be back in to check on you in a little bit." With that the doctor left the room and left me and AJ to ourselves.

The silence in the room was deafening. Neither one of us knew what to say or how to say it. A tear rolled down my face as I thought about my unborn son. AJ wiped it with his finger and leaned down to lay his head on my stomach. That was all it took for the dam inside of me to burst.
"Shhh, honey you can't do this. I know your upset and sad, so am I, but you heard the doctor you need to stay calm for the baby's sake. It'll all be ok."
"You're right I have to be strong for our son. I just don't want anything to happen to him…I don't think I could take that…"
"I know babe, I don't think I could take anything happening either…" AJ said quietly as he looked away from me.
The sudden knock on the door made us both jump a bit. Rhonda stepped into the room followed closely by Nick. "Hey honey," she said coming over and hugging me so tightly it was hard to breathe. She gently placed a hand on my middle. "How are you guys doing?" I brushed the tears off my face, "I guess we're doing as expected. Just waiting to see if the contractions stop." It suddenly hit me that Rhonda was here and not with my daughter. "Where's Arrianna?"

"Nick called Denise to watch her and the twins. He felt I should be here with you." I didn't care I was just glad to have her by my side. "How are you holding up?" Nick asked AJ.
"How the fuck do you think I'm holding up!?" AJ snapped back. The rest of us shot each other looks. All of us knew that AJ did not always handle stress well, but I really needed him to be the strong one right now. I knew I couldn't do this by myself.
Rhonda seemed to figure out the situation. She grabbed AJ's hand. "Come on you guys why don't we go get some coffee and let Amber get some rest," she said motioning for Nick to follow.
"No!" AJ shouted pulling his hand out of hers. "I'm not leaving her."
Rhonda gently placed her hand back over his. "J look at your wife, she needs to get some rest so that she can take care of your son. You stressing is not going to help her out. She'll be fine. We'll be right back."
I smiled and rubbed his other hand, "It's ok honey, I'll be fine for a few minutes, go get something to drink." AJ looked from me to the others in the room, with a tired sigh he walked out and headed in the direction of the vending machines.

"Rhonda…" I called out as a doctor I didn't recognize pushed her away from me too. I needed someone to stand by me and AJ couldn't to me.
"Its ok honey, let the doctors do what they need to do. We'll be right over here."
"What's going on?" I asked the nearest doctor to me who was turning various buttons on the beeping machine. "What's happening to my baby?!"
The doctor finally seemed to get the buttons to where he needed them to be. He stood up straight and looked me in the eyes. "It seems your baby is in some kind of distress. We're going to have to deliver him now."
"What? What do you mean distress? What's going to happen to my baby?!" I was way beyond panicked now I was terrified.
"Nurse please take her to get prepped for delivery," the doctor said as he walked away. Three orderlies stepped up and started wheeling my bed out the door as a contraction once again swept through my body. I turned to reach my hand out for AJ but I no longer saw him.
"Where's AJ?" I asked Rhonda who was now standing next to Nick.
She looked around surprised at not seeing him there. "I don't know honey," she said moving towards the door. "I'll go look for him."
"Hurry!" was all I could say as I was wheeled down the hall and out of her view.